As I have stated on more than one occasion, I have a hard time with being misunderstood. I have always been a quiet individual; this leads people to perceive me as snobbish. In addition to that, I was told a few years ago that I have a dry sense of humor. I was pleased on one hand because this explained why I have frequently been taken seriously when I have been (or so I thought) obviously joking. On the other hand, I had to come to terms with the fact that I will continue to be misunderstood; easier said than done. Perhaps this is why I have a strong interest in the arts; to have an opportunity for self expression that would be an outlet for me and a vague or masked interpretation of who I am for the viewer. The past week or two has been filled with misunderstandings about me or misinterpretations about something I have said. This might be the result of another person skimming the figurative surface of me and then making assumptions or the fact that I am not always the stellar communicator I wish I were. My biggest frustration is that I am not intelligent enough to verbalize my feelings in an accurate way so I just go running for the biggest collection of sarcastic/four letter words I can assemble. This only serves to create further misunderstanding. In the end I am reminded of why I don’t say much in the fist place. Instead of the adage “If you don’t have anything nice to say…” I prefer to live by my own: if you cannot say exactly what you want to say, exactly how you want to say it then don’t say anything at all. It is more desirable to be mysterious than misunderstood.
Losing dignity in public April 7, 2008
Yesterday I witnessed something tragic (or hilarious if you have no soul like the husband). A girl losing all dignity…even for love. We were out yesterday afternoon in FW and we drove around the building looking for a parking spot. There was a couple sitting on a bench in a more secluded spot in the area. They were sitting comfortably but you could tell they were arguing. The establishment we were hoping to sit outside of and enjoy the weather was closed so we were walking to another and had to pass the couple. This time the girl was standing and screaming. I tried to not listen but she was screaming and our walking by didn’t seem to deter her. The husband was more than happy to walk up and sit on the bench with the dude getting yelled at for a front row seat of this dramatic scene. He is of the opinion that if you’re going to display your personal business in public then you make it permissible for him to be interested in what happens. Needless to say we kept walking but could hear the girl scream “I LOVE YOU…WITH ALL MY HEART!” We went into another store across the parking lot and strolled around for about 20 minutes and came back. They were gone but as we walked back by they pulled up in a car (with windows rolled down) and she was screaming, “WHY DON’T YOU WANT ME?!?”
I wondered what happened. Were they in a long time relationship and he abruptly and unexpectedly broke it off? Were they casually dating and she is just a little psycho. Either way, SHEESH!
Battle in Seattle-content review April 7, 2008
This weekend I went to the AFI Film Festival in Dallas where the film Battle in Seattle was screened. This was a political film about activist protesting the WTO in Seattle and the corporate injustices. That alone is enough to make my eyes roll. Still, despite the fact that it was the same ol’ stale whine from Hollywood, I think there was an attempt at fairness on the issues. After the screening there was a panel discussion with writer/director Stuart Townsend, actor Martin Henderson, and actresses Charlize Theron and Michelle Rodriguez.
One of the comments Stuart Townsend made regarding his inspiration for the film was the imbalance between those that go hungry and those that make billions of dollars. Disclaimer: I am not saying that people should be rich at the expense of others in need. You should fight injustices of the world. There are problems and, yes evils, to combat within corporations. However, I find it ironic that here sits a guy from Hollywood dating and living with Charlize Theron. While I do not personally know her salary I am guessing that as an Academy Award Winning ® working actress she makes pretty damn good money…millions…being an ACTOR! It isn’t that acting and filmmaking aren’t worthy professions. They are and I went to college to pursue such things. If you make .85 cents on every movie ticket sold and that turns into millions then that is the nature of your business and money you rightfully earned. But taking that into consideration, please spare me the lecture on wealth distribution. Filmmaking is an effort to communicate truths and inform mass groups of people and that it is an outrageously expensive endeavor. You know what is even more expensive? Drilling and refining oil so that the world can keep production going in order for millions of people to have and keep their jobs and, therefore eat and live. The irony continued as people applauded how bad corporations are as they took pictures of the Hollywood stars from their iPhone.
Oh and p.s. Thanks Target for sponsoring this event.
Charlize Theron being smart said, “We are not anti-corporation just pro responsible corporation.” How can a corporation be evil or irresponsible? A corporation is nothing apart from the people who make up that corporation so evil or irresponsible ultimately lies within an individual. So to answer the film’s question…apparently an individual CAN make a difference…whether good or bad. This brings me to my final point. Michelle Rodriguez was actually very well spoken when answering questions from the audience regarding film content and the research of her character. At the end she is telling us about a funny moment when she was in jail (for a DUI). At that moment she negated anything she had previously said. Don’t talk to me about corporate irresponsibility (which as I just stated is individual irresponsibility) when you just nonchalantly and jokingly refer to your own lack of personal responsibility when getting behind the wheel and putting yourself and countless others in danger with your negligent choice.
And ask yourself where you would be and what state the world would be WITHOUT corporations. Keep this in mind and, at least, be willing to acknowledge your own hypocrisy from time to time.
My $47 dollar mole April 5, 2008
I went to the doctor today; the dermatologist. I was with the doctor LITERALLY probably 20 seconds max. She looks over all the moles on my body, including shining a special light on the one that has been tingling and says “nothing wrong with your moles. Probably never will be. I can remove them in 5 seconds if they bother you but it isn’t necessary. Do you want me to remove them? Pause. “No?” Okay, have a nice day.” I’m handed a card with pictures of bad moles and sent on my way. $45 dollars co-pay because it is a specialist and $2.00 to park.
I don’t blame the doctor. She has expertise and medical school bills I need to pay for. This is the price I pay for always assuming I am going to get cancer. Today my paranoia cost me an unnecessary $47.00.
be a gentleMAN April 5, 2008
Okay, today I was leaving work carrying a computer monitor which was decently heavy (especially considering my upper body strength cannot take much more than the weight of carrying my coffee mug) and bulky if nothing else. So I am carrying this thing out the front door at work and I tell our receptionist that I cannot use the revolving door (which she prefers when it is so cold) b/c I am carrying this big ol’ thing. A guy is leaving at the same time (and hears me talking to the receptionist). Now I know, in this day and age, it is way too much to ask that this fellow offer to carry the computer for me, however, to get into the parking garage I have to go through two glass doors (and pull). The computer was getting heavy and I really wanted to stop and take a rest but I needed to stay with this guy so he could hold the door for me. He is like 8 feet in front of me AND THE DUDE DID NOT BOTHER TO HOLD THE DOOR FOR ME…a tiny woman carrying a big bulky monitor. I have to say, I find this very troubling. Sigh….
Just in case you didn’t know ,fellas…I know you have to live in a world tainted by all that women’s lib stuff and I know most, if not all, of you are perfect gentlemen. BUT just incase, know this: you should always let a women on the elevator first, you should always pick something up if a woman drops something, you should help her if she is struggling to carry or lift something and for the love of all that is sacred HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR A WEAK LITTLE WOMAN CARRYING A BIG ASS COMPUTER MONITOR!
Pulpit-pimps.org April 5, 2008
Has anyone ever been to the website http://www.pulpit-pimps.org/
Disclaimer: I know I pick on Christians and/or Baptist for the stupid things they often do but I am a Christian and a Baptist. This website is basically devoted to pointing out things preached that are/border on Heresy. I have not read the entire website, therefore, this is not an endorsement of this website.
With that said, if you go to this website you will find the most hilarious audio clip. I think the title is “You cannot teach yourself.” This particular clip is about a preacher basically saying that you cannot read the Bible and come to a reasonable conclusion by yourself because we cannot all go around making our own truth.
It’s true that people will try their damndest to twist the Bible for their own agendas but I think this advice is not only foolish but completely UN-Biblical.
This guy says PARAPHRASE “You need a preacher to tell you what to think about the Bible so you won’t make up your own stuff.” HOWEVER, he goes on to say that if you don’t like what one preacher says, go find one you can agree with and let him tell you what truth is? It would be totally HILARIOUS if not for the fact that the audio contains people saying “AMEN” in agreement.
The lesson: You need a preacher to tell you how to think. So find a preacher who thinks what you think so he can tell you what to think
Hair band nation! April 5, 2008
I have been driving my dad’s car with Sirius Satellite radio. I am fixated on the Hair Nation station since I had a short run with what we now call hair bands. I came in on “hair bands” just as that train was leaving the station and grunge was pulling into the stop, so a lot of the stuff is before my time (plus until then I thought heavy metal people were freaks).
Definition:
Male Freak: a guy with tight rustler jeans, a too small iron maiden shirt, Reebok high-tops (or those tan high-top moccasin looking shoes) and a greasy borderline mullet.
Female freak: girl who wore a leather jacket, leather scrunched up boots…fringe wherever possible, too much eye-liner, super teased hair and giving the appearance of being somewhat slutty. Because of my baby-sitter’s oldest son and his time in junior high I also called these people A-lunchers…but that is obviously a regional thing.
Anyhoo, I went through a two-year phase. My favorite was Skid Row. I also enjoyed the sounds of Motley Crue, Warrant and Poison. I had posters in my room of these fabulous bands which caused my parents’ uber-Southern Baptist friends (and what I consider to be the quintessential holy-roller couple- see blog on holy-roller status) to look at me and my room in total disgust. And also caused Shelly’s mom to ask us why we wanted pictures of naked men on our wall (they weren’t naked….just bare-chested…sometimes).
So to enjoy the sounds of my childhood I turn to Hair Nation. I have to listen to 6-7 songs of “before my time” rock or just crappy obscure stuff until they finally get to something good. On more than one occasion I have been disappointed when they play a familiar and well liked song in the “Live” version. The live version leaves one to wonder A)Were they this bad and, if so, how did they get a record deal or B)was this recorded so much later than their prime that they just cannot hold their breath or a note anymore (or find the note to begin with). I have come to the conclusion that they play them for no other reason than the live versions contain several F-bombs so they think “this is satellite radio…let’s play the one that says f*ck even though it is TERRIBLE just because we can”….sigh!
Side note: the first summer I spent in New York, Sebastian Bach of Skid Row was in Jekyll and Hyde on Broadway. My sister and I went to the show. I have to say I was quite impressed because when he was Jekyll he sang REALLY well and when he was Hyde he used the heavy metal voice. I was impressed because I didn’t know he could sing so technically well to begin with and then was surprised that he had not ruined any voice he had by that time. He was quite pretty (and I say pretty b/c he could so pass for a woman in the face department) when he was younger and while he looks the same…living hard and fast can age you quick. Still, I was giddy and my sister commented on my extreme nerdiness… but were it Bono, Rick Springfield or that Simon Le Bon dude she would have been the same way. Later he went on to star in Rocky Horror Picture Show (typical) which I did not see.
no one owes you anything! April 5, 2008
Recently, with all the polarized politics in the world, I have taken a step back to see why I believe what I do. Why do I vote one way and not the other? It comes down to these few thoughts:
personal responsibility-all I have is my own initiative. I am responsible for my own choices. I am responsible for the consequences of those choices. Everything is a choice.
no one owes me anything- all I have is my own initiative. I live in America where I have the greatest opportunity to be what I want to be. I have the right to live free and that is enough to survive in the world.
Lately I am reading a lot of political postings about “the rich.” But who are the rich? According to the post I read the rich are these evil elite who live in mini-mansions and get huge salaries. Take a look around you! Do you have a car? Food? Shelter and clothes? Then YOU are rich! If you see a need in the world it is just as much your responsibility to help as it is those who make six figures.
My generation can be such a bunch of titty babies who complain when they don’t get something for nothing…or when others don’t get something for nothing. Why should you? You have a chance. Thank God you have it and then work hard for whatever it is you want. Why should some corporate CEO and his salary bother you? Do you go hungry because of their salary? I doubt it. So mind your own business and be thankful for what you have. Quit envying the rich….or should I say the mega rich. Be thankful that if you want to work hard enough you can be the mega rich too.
The only person you can be responsible for is you!
who is my community? April 5, 2008
In recent discussion among friends we have had one main topic of conversation; What is Community? The answers range from helping friend’s move, grieving and rejoicing with one another to regular fellowship. But what actually makes community? Community is defined as a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists. I live in the Community of Arlington, Texas but do not necessarily consider Arlington Texas to be my community. Someone put forth the idea, and I think rightly so, that community comes when the relationship takes on a more intimate level that changes and influences all that are involved.
Upon observation of public situations, I would further suggest that our lack of community directly results in our lack of concern for our own reputation and the results of our actions. If a youth strolls through the mall with his pants half way off and profanity spewing from his mouth, who will be there to chastise him? Who will be there to question his behavior and call attention to his stupidity? The community of Arlington? Does anyone know this boy who might report back to his mother? And what if his behavior is far worse than teenage foolishness.
What happens when that foolishness branches out into activities that result in life-long consequences? Who is there to influence him down a better road? How can we live by the concept of “it takes a village” when you have a mega-village?
Recently we have seen efforts for creating community. In areas like “Uptown” you have developers coming in to create condos and commercial properties that would indicate an attempt to create some type of “community.” But the result is a new age of young yuppies having one more material outlet for “one-up-ing” each other. These “community” buildings are more like movie sets that appear to be real on the outside than actual communities of people sharing life with one another. But isn’t that what we are all longing for deep down? Is that why we watch hours and hours of “Friends” in syndication? Are we so longing for our own sense of community that we want to live vicariously through an ensemble cast fictionally portraying just that?
On a rant, my husband (a rejecter against most new technology) pointed out that as we strive for easier communication through cell phones, I-pods, internet etc., that we are communicating less and less and isolating ourselves more and more with our individual electronic devices; these very devices designed to bring us closer together (and in some aspects they, of course, do) separate us from simple old-fashioned communication with our fellow man. So without providing any actual answers we are back to our original question; What is community? Where can we find community? How can we truly provide community to one another? How can we live with an instinctive desire for community in a changing, developing world that increasingly refuses to lend itself to forms of basic human interaction? How can I have community?
Christians who think they make art. April 5, 2008
Below is a blog, once again by Mentenna. It expresses my views on Christian filmmaking. Actually, her thoughts posted beneath mine….I too get on a rant….
Christians in general miss the mark in modern day art. How many times I have I gotten an email about some great new Christian movie coming out. The reality is that the only people who watch these films, that in my opinion dumb down the gospel, are Christians…and not very many of them.
The classic example is “Left Behind.” A New York Times best selling novel and who saw that movie?… with the silly special effects. One night I am going to rent all the Left Behind movies as well as the Omega Code films. Anyone want to join me?
Don’t get me wrong. Everything has it’s place. Seventh Heaven was a ridiculously bad show…and I’m convinced they let 7th grade girls write the scripts. But it did offer, at least, something other than smutty television trash.
The Christian filmmaker who made the war film, “To End All Wars” which had a “R” rating put it best. (Paraphrase) -Christian’s try first to be evangelist and artist second and that is their problem. -
Are they effective? probably. Are they effective like they should be? Doubtful!
The thing is that Christians need to stop this silly business of having their own version of every “worldly” thing. If you are a Christian artist you should be making art that reflects you, the truths in your life and God’s truth….not a silly watered down, non-life changing version of it. But I could get started on Church and Christianity missing the mark in general by doing things this way…
Mentenna’s blog pasted below for more thoughts…
who killed creativity?
reader beware: this post contains much ranting…read at your own risk!
who killed creativity in the Christian community? who decided that to be poetic or literary or artistic was a sin? when did we as a body decree that art in all of its forms was depraved and better left to the world? how can we believe that changing a slogan or rewriting the words to a secular song is clever?
I struggle constantly with a deep seated frustration in the amateur work we produce and present to our culture. “as long as the message is there, who cares about the quality.” that is our attitude and I am ashamed of it! how many more “b” movies with eschatological themes are we going to have to endure? how much longer will we publish anything by anyone and call it literature? and music? doesn’t it all sound the same to you, too?
where is this coming from you ask? here is what happened. I went to a film festival last night that was exploring images of faith in film. imagine how pumped I was to attend. faith and film, talk about a combination as yummy as peanut butter and jelly. I was salivating! the movie of the night was entitled “mary” by the director abel ferrara and starred juliette binoche, matthew modine and heather graham. for those of you scratching your head, i hadn’t heard of it either before last night. it is an indie film that explores the relevancy of Christ in today’s violent world. the script was multi-layered, rich and full of imagery, analogies and symbolism. like most foreign directors, ferrara used the camera as a tool to take us deeper into the character’s struggles and inner thoughts. each word, each shot was meticulously chosen to explore the theme. the result was a great film. along with 100 other people in a theater on a thursday night, i experienced Jesus in a new and meaningful way. the debate that took place afterwards, with a priest facilitating, enlightened me even more on the thoughts and feelings of the world towards my savior. it was a great night. i came home, prayed, read in the gospels and thanked my God that his son stands at the center of all human experience. in short, i worshiped.
today, i began to reflect on how the christian community explores faith through the medium of film. i came to the conclusion that we don’t. we don’t use the arts to explore or to communicate how we experience God. our objective is to convert, to defend and to convince others to think of him as we do. movies, to be accepted and supported by the body of Christ, generally have to have a clear presentation of the gospel, no curse words or nudity, and a sappy conversion scene with a light shining through a stain glass window. forget cinematography. throw good scripting to the wind. and if you can’t find a decent actor, just give kirk cameron a call. we package it all up, encourage churches to buy out showings and then pat ourselves on the back for having used technology for the glory of god.
as a one time film student, i just can’t get on board with this mentality. i think God fashioned us in his image and that means that there is a wealth of creativity within us. when we unleash that potential, we demonstrate to the world that we serve a master artist. he is at the center of all beauty, color, expression and sound. all things are from him and to him and through him. films affords us the opportunity to invite people on a journey with us, to tell a story that has God as the hero, to show them perspectives on reality that they have never considered before. the possibilities are as endless as our God is infinite. God is worthy of our creative expression. the world is hungry for it. and to be honest, we suck at it.
